When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
