I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Oh god it's open bar.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
