After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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