never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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