yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
