idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
