Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
