I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
