That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
