Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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