Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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