There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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