So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
