Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
