What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
