Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
