If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
