you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
