Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
