New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
