I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
