those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
