Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
