Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
