that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
