Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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