Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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