anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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