butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
