Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
