After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
