I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
