Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
