Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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