Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am one with the molecules
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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