He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
