It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Houston, we have a squirter
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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