Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
