I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
