Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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