I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
