her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
