thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
