As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
