i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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