Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
