im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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