I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
