I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
