we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
